Monday, December 17, 2012

More Than Just Slightly Embarassed

Well, I gave up.

I gave up on tracking calories.  I gave up on measuring portions.  I gave up on running.  I gave up on myself.

It's time that I start valuing me and what I need.  And what I need is to lose this baby weight and start feeling better about myself.

So I broke down, splurged and signed up for Weight Watchers again tonight.  I wanted to do it myself, without anyone's help.  I thought I could track my calories and get motivated through another site.  But I am not comfortable with that method.  I am comfortable with WW because I know it works.  So, I'm back on the horse.  I need this.  I need to start feeling like myself again.

I know everyone says this.  It's such a cliche, the "I'm really going to do it," and "I need to focus on myself," and "this time I am going to change" mantras.  We get on the horse, do well for a week, a month, a year, then fall back into the same lousy patterns that made us fat and lazy and unhappy in the first place.

Truth is, I know I am going to fail.  I am going to revert back to bad habits.  I am going to get lazy.  But, I am going to fall down, forgive myself, then get back up again and keep going.  This is not a diet, not a short-term solution, but a lifestyle change.  I know this - I say it all the time.  I really need to start living it (yes, the cliche is making me nauseous too!).

So, some short term goals:

- Measure and track every meal and snack
- Get active everyday, even if it's just for a few minutes
- Give myself a break ( I am the mother of three young kiddos, after all!) and try not to be so negative
- Write at least one blog post a week

I'm going to try to focus on my health, both mental and physical, to get back to a place where I can say that I am happy to be me.  Right now, I'm just in a little bit of a slump.  But, I'll be back.

And no more avoiding the blog just because I'm not doing so hot.  I need the accountability!