Well, I gave up.
I gave up on tracking calories. I gave up on measuring portions. I gave up on running. I gave up on myself.
It's time that I start valuing me and what I need. And what I need is to lose this baby weight and start feeling better about myself.
So I broke down, splurged and signed up for Weight Watchers again tonight. I wanted to do it myself, without anyone's help. I thought I could track my calories and get motivated through another site. But I am not comfortable with that method. I am comfortable with WW because I know it works. So, I'm back on the horse. I need this. I need to start feeling like myself again.
I know everyone says this. It's such a cliche, the "I'm really going to do it," and "I need to focus on myself," and "this time I am going to change" mantras. We get on the horse, do well for a week, a month, a year, then fall back into the same lousy patterns that made us fat and lazy and unhappy in the first place.
Truth is, I know I am going to fail. I am going to revert back to bad habits. I am going to get lazy. But, I am going to fall down, forgive myself, then get back up again and keep going. This is not a diet, not a short-term solution, but a lifestyle change. I know this - I say it all the time. I really need to start living it (yes, the cliche is making me nauseous too!).
So, some short term goals:
- Measure and track every meal and snack
- Get active everyday, even if it's just for a few minutes
- Give myself a break ( I am the mother of three young kiddos, after all!) and try not to be so negative
- Write at least one blog post a week
I'm going to try to focus on my health, both mental and physical, to get back to a place where I can say that I am happy to be me. Right now, I'm just in a little bit of a slump. But, I'll be back.
And no more avoiding the blog just because I'm not doing so hot. I need the accountability!