More Than Just Slightly Embarassed

Well, I gave up.

I gave up on tracking calories.  I gave up on measuring portions.  I gave up on running.  I gave up on myself.

It's time that I start valuing me and what I need.  And what I need is to lose this baby weight and start feeling better about myself.

So I broke down, splurged and signed up for Weight Watchers again tonight.  I wanted to do it myself, without anyone's help.  I thought I could track my calories and get motivated through another site.  But I am not comfortable with that method.  I am comfortable with WW because I know it works.  So, I'm back on the horse.  I need this.  I need to start feeling like myself again.

I know everyone says this.  It's such a cliche, the "I'm really going to do it," and "I need to focus on myself," and "this time I am going to change" mantras.  We get on the horse, do well for a week, a month, a year, then fall back into the same lousy patterns that made us fat and lazy and unhappy in the first place.

Truth is, I know I am going to fail.  I am going to revert back to bad habits.  I am going to get lazy.  But, I am going to fall down, forgive myself, then get back up again and keep going.  This is not a diet, not a short-term solution, but a lifestyle change.  I know this - I say it all the time.  I really need to start living it (yes, the cliche is making me nauseous too!).

So, some short term goals:

- Measure and track every meal and snack
- Get active everyday, even if it's just for a few minutes
- Give myself a break ( I am the mother of three young kiddos, after all!) and try not to be so negative
- Write at least one blog post a week

I'm going to try to focus on my health, both mental and physical, to get back to a place where I can say that I am happy to be me.  Right now, I'm just in a little bit of a slump.  But, I'll be back.

And no more avoiding the blog just because I'm not doing so hot.  I need the accountability!

I'm Baaaaack!

Well, I didn't fulfill my promise of keeping my blog going while pregnant.  I tried to be "good" and continue with the healthy lifestyle I'd begun last year, but it was really hard to maintain while pregnant.  The cravings and exhaustion and soreness crept up on me and, before I knew it, I had given up on my healthy eating and fitness plans.

So, it's no surprise that I gained 44 pounds during this pregnancy.  I guess it's par for the course - I gained 50 with Jackson and 46 with Natalie.  At least it was a downward trend instead of the other way around, especially considering that I was pregnant longer with Garrett than with the other two!

Now that Garrett is a month old and I'm feeling back to normal physically, I am ready to start tackling this extra baby weight.  As of this morning, I weighed 189 lbs.  I've lost almost 20 pounds since Garrett was born and need to lose another 25 to get down to my pre-pregnancy weight.  After that, I'd like to lose another 20 lbs, but I'm going to take this one step at a time, focusing first on losing the pregnancy weight.

How am I planning on losing the weight?  Previously, I'd relied on Weight Watchers to take off the pounds.  Unfortunately, WW and I had a falling out a few days ago (long story - message me if you want details!) so I am going to try another method for tracking my daily food intake.  It's a site called babyfit.com (a sister site to Sparkpeople) and it caters to pregnant women and new moms -- perfect for me!  Based on my stats, the site calculated my target calorie intake.  I can track my meals and snacks via my personalized site, which is very nice and very similar to what I did with WW's online program.

As for fitness, I haven't been cleared by my doctor to work out yet (but I'm hoping that happens at my 6 week appointment next Tuesday) so I have just been taking walks around the neighborhood.  I'm planning to start running again soon, and am hoping to be in good enough shape to run a 5k in December.  We'll see how that goes!

So, that's the plan!  I'd love to hear any stories, tips or encouragement, so feel free to send any of those my way!

The Cat's Out of the Bag...

For those of you who wondered where the heck I went... SURPRISE!  After reading the new title of my blog, I'm sure you've figured out that I was on a weight loss blogging hiatus because I am pregnant!!!

I planned to continue blogging about eating healthy and staying active, but I wasn't quite ready to share the news with everyone.  But, I'm ready now.  And, now that you know, I'm going to start blogging again and am looking forward to sharing this journey with you.

As for my pregnancy, I am currently 9 weeks pregnant, and am due on September 11, 2012.  I have seen the tiny little heartbeat twice, and am so excited to be adding to our already wonderful family.  While having three kids under the age of four scares the crap out of me, I think it will be a fun adventure!! *insert unsure, but naively optimistic smile*

So, what have I been up to since I stopped blogging a month ago?  Surviving.  My morning sickness kicked in around 6 weeks and I have been feeling pretty lousy since then.  I'm nauseous and tired pretty much all of the time, but I know lots of coping mechanisms from dealing with this during my last two pregnancies.  Still, it's not too much fun.  I can't wait to feel normal again.

As for diet and exercise, everything has pretty much gone out the window for now.  I'm eating whatever sounds good (which isn't much) and haven't run or been to the gym in a couple of weeks.  Ugh.  I know from experience that this won't last, and that I'll feel better soon.  As soon as I do, I'll be making my way back to the gym.  Until then, I'll continue in survival mode :)

Going Great!

Last week: 164.5
Today: 164.2

The weight is still coming off.  But, more importantly, I'm getting fit and feeling really good about that.  I've been going to the gym and working out regularly, and am actually enjoying it.  I especially like the cardio cinema, where you can watch a movie and work out simultaneously!  I haven't gotten to a Zumba class yet, but I'm hoping to do that soon.

As far as food goes, I'm trying new recipes and we are all enjoying them (well, except for Jackson, but he's a hard one to please in the food realm!)  Last week, I made chicken stir fry and it was a huge success!  I also lightened up my stuffed pepper recipe with brown rice and egg beaters with great results.

I'll post my chicken stir fry recipe later.  Now, it's time to make dinner because the kiddos (and I) are hungry!

Turning Over a New Leaf

I always said I'd never be a runner.  I even rolled my eyes at the people I'd see on the side of the road in 25 degree weather, thinking they were crazy for running in the bitter cold.  Oh, how the tide has turned!  This past Monday, I was the girl on the side of the road in the bitter cold, dodging snowflakes and happily completing my 3 mile run.

I also said I hated the gym.  That I wouldn't go even if membership were free.  So tonight, where was I?  I was sitting at a desk in the local Gold's Gym, signing up for a membership.  And I was excited about it!  Haha.  I am a changed woman.  Instead of dreading it, I'm really really looking forward to taking some Zumba classes and working out on the weight machines.

So here I am, a runner (albeit a slow one) and a gym member.  I'm not sure where all this motivation came from, but I hope it sticks around for a long time.  Because I am finally making myself a priority, and it feels great!

 

Big Loss!!

Last week: 167.1
Today: 164.5

Yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!  That's a 2.6 lb loss this week!!  I was so thrilled to see those numbers on the scale this morning.  I guess my "no leftovers" mantra worked out great.  I didn't have any cookies in the house (or I would have been tempted to eat them, I'm sure!) and I didn't take anything from dinner, other than a couple of lean pieces of ham.  I did have ice cream cake for Natalie's birthday and champagne for New Years Eve, but other than that, I was pretty good.

So, on to my resolutions.  I made a new dinner last night: Pork Au Poivre from Food Network's Healthy Appetite show.  I found the recipe online, and tried it out for our New Years dinner.  It was pretty good, and low in points.  I'll tweak it next time I make it (I tend to do that will all my recipes!) and it'll be really good.  If you want the recipe, let me know!

I'm also heading out for a run this morning while Joe watches the kids.  I usually only get to run on the weekends lately because it's too dark before Joe leaves for work and after he gets home.  But, I haven't run in two weeks due to the holidays and all the craziness.  It'll feel good to get out there, especially with all my new gear.  Thanks, Mike and Aunt Diana!

2012, Here I Come!

Last January, I began Weight Watchers again after giving birth to Natalie.  I weighed 193.2 lbs as of January 23, almost a month after having her.  As of last Monday, I weighed 167.1 lbs. 

That's 26.1 lbs lost in 2011. 

Now, I would be lying if I said that I've been 100% dedicated to WW the entire time.  In fact, I took a pretty long hiatus this summer/fall while packing and moving into our new house, going on vacation, etc.  I found all kinds of excuses not to track my weight or points.  When I got frustrated in July, I started running instead of going back to WW.  While I'm glad I got into running, it wasn't helping me lose the weight.  Sure, it kept me from gaining, but I wasn't losing.

So, I started this blog in November.  In a month and a half, I managed to take off 5.1 lbs.  It's a great start, but I'm hoping that 2012 will get me to my goal weight of 145 lbs.  I still have over 20 lbs to go, but I know I can do it! 

Now on to the resolutions, since it's New Years Day and all...

1) Prepare healthier meals for myself and my family.  This means more veggies and lean meats and less carbs and fat.  I can already hear my kids and husband grumbling :)  haha
2) Train for, and run at least a 10K by the end of the year.  I know I can do this, but I just can't seem to get my runs in lately.

So, weigh in is tomorrow and I'm not sure how it'll go.  I've been doing pretty well this week, but forgot to track my food a couple of days.  I always feel out of control those days, like I can eat anything and it won't count since I'm not writing it down.  I know - this is a bad habit, so I need to keep tracking everything I eat everyday.  It's so easy to backslide.

2012, here I come!  I will cook healthier.  I will finish a 10K.  I will stick with WW and track my points.  I will reach my goal weight!

Now, here's a couple of pics in honor of the new year:

Here I am, two days before Natalie arrived.  Probably around 210 lbs here.  Oy!

Natalie's about three days old here, and I'm around 195 lbs (a rough guess)

 August 2011 - around 175 here

January 1, 2012 - roughly 167 (we'll see where I weigh in tomorrow!)